The Case Against U2

I own a number of U2 records. There have been periods where I've been slightly obsessed with War. They've written a bunch of classic songs. But if you stop and look at this band objectively, they are absolutely ridiculous.

A few points:

U2 have been around for 30 years. These men are pushing fifty, but Bono and The Edge have not relinquished their awful nicknames and decided to simply go by Paul and David, respectively. U2 are the middle-aged uncles of rock and roll.

Despite being white, Christian and affluent, U2 insist on acting as the moral conscience of pop music, including hobnobbing with such slags as the Pope, Tony Blair and Mother Theresa. U2 are the White Man's Burden of rock and roll.

Despite the economic implosion of the Western world and the tanking record industry, the new U2 album is available in no less than 5 formats, with booklets ranging from 16 to 64 pages (and that one's hardcover), proving that, if nothing else, U2 are well aware of their target market, namely idiots, banker, lawyers and accountants. U2 are the Banana Republic of rock and roll.

Perhaps these points would be moot if U2 still made good music. But they do not. I recently caught some of the band's week-long stint on David Letterman. Their new stuff is, in a word, lame. Bono's embarrassing preening didn't help. He even name-checked Joey Ramone at one point, for no particular reason, though it was an illustrative moment - even when shamelessly trying to be cool U2 are still horribly outdated. Also, I'm pretty sure the "live" performances were just Bono singing over backing tracks while the band mimed playing. Not that it matters.

Maybe I'm being needlessly cruel, but I don't see how anyone benefits from U2's continuing presence. It's time they were put out to pasture, or better yet, taken to the glue factory.